Notice

Three questions I ask myself often when creating: How do I feel? What do I have? What can I do?

How do I feel?

This is all about noticing, about awareness. I pay attention to what grabs my attention, in a pleasant way or unpleasant. It could be a feeling I’m feeling, or something that inspires me. Sit with that feeling a little while. Accept what I notice as true in that moment.

“The awareness happens first as a pure connection with the object of your attention. If something strikes me as interesting or beautiful, first I live that experience. Only afterward might I attempt to understand it. Though we can’t change what it is that we are noticing, we can change our ability to notice. We can expand our awareness and narrow it, experience it with our eyes open or closed. We can quiet our inside so we can perceive more on the outside, or quiet the outside so we can notice more of what’s happening inside. We can zoom in on something so closely it loses the features that make it what it appears to be, or zoom so far out it seems like something entirely new.” -Rick Rubin

In this case, it was a feeling, a little bit sad and a little bit hopeful, followed by an unsettling dream.

What do I have?

In my artwork, this means scanning through images to find something that matches the emotional tone of what I am feeling. These were the original images I collected, starting with the dark room.

In a larger sense, the same question applies to all sorts of things one struggles with. What resources do I have available? Where can I lean for support? What strategies can help me process, integrate, or transmute an emotion or experience? What skills do I have available?

As I began understanding my own artistic voice, when I caught myself comparing, feeling like my work falls short compared to another artist or feeling like I should be doing something I saw others do, I would return to this question. What is unique about me and how I see the world, what do I have to offer?

What can I do?

With clear intention, even if it is just the intention to experiment, take action. Play. If something isn’t working, try something else.

“Creating an image is a way of taking action to make your intention manifest. The image increases the resonance within you and allows it to blossom and unfold and tell you its meaning. Trust your inner knowing and let the image instruct you. Be deliberately slow and curious. Try to refrain from coming to conclusioins; instead, follow your image like a trail of bread crumbs as far as you can. Then let it go. You won’t learn everything at once. The image might take time to unfold its meaning. Let it sit on your wall for a while and just notice it as you go about your routine.” -Pat Allen

In my artwork, this involves starting with an intention to explore this feeling I noticed. Playing with different iPad apps, rotating the perspective of the room, layering different images and textures. Seeing what I like and what I don’t like. Noticing what feels authentic.

Authenticity

The other day I listened to Gabor Mate speaking on noticing and the authentic self in relationship. I wrote it down because it was so well said, and also applicable to creating authentically. And articulates again how valuable the act of noticing is.

“Authenticity is being connected to our true selves, our gut feelings. Which are necessary. Attachment is a need to belong and if we can be authentic and belong, that’s ideal. So if you can find relationships in which we can be our true selves and be accepted and loved that is ideal. Well here’s the question: Who inside us knows? Only that authentic self that’s always there. And so I say to people don’t try and look for the authentic self. Just notice when you’re not authentic. Just notice when you are not saying no when there’s a no that wants to be said. Just see when you’re not saying yes when there’s a yes that wants to be said inside you. Notice the impact on you. When you don’t assert your true self. How do you feel afterwards? So notice the difficulty being authentic and ask yourself well what is the belief that I’m carrying that if I’m authentic then what? All that noticing, what does that do? Who is the one that is noticing? It’s the authentic self. So just by asking those questions you’re strengthening, your empowering that authentic self.”