I’m not there yet, but I know where I want to go.
The Back Story
Pulling a few images to create with, I started with these.
I worked on this one for a while, I just couldn’t seem to get it right. Specifically, I wanted to alter it in some way, make it a little less like the reality in the background photo. But I kept pulling back the little details.
This one was a little uncomfortable to look at. At first, the movement seemed like a resistance to being forced in this direction. Or her hand is out, trying to pull herself back up, but the force is too much. The Exit sign is confusing. It’s a prominent placement, but a seemingly contradictory message. This doesn’t feel like an exit. I feel a strong ‘I don’t want to go there’ feeling.
But maybe that actually is the way out. The Exit. It’s through the dark and scary places.
The next day, picking up my iPad to create, I wasn’t intending to repeat this portrait. My original plan got sidetracked when I pulled this pillar stock photo.
I wanted a specific image I didn’t have in my catalog for a project, so I bought a few stock images. After getting what I was looking for for that specific project, I used the rest of my credits for images I might want to use later. Pillars remain a recurring visual theme in my meditation. Something that evokes a gentle release within me, soft tears, sometimes for reasons I don’t understand, meaning not connected to any specific thought. It’s something I’ve wanted to create an image around. I’ve just been waiting for the opportunity to photograph pillars like this for myself.
For now, I used this pillar image to contrast the Exit image.
I wasn’t sure what I had to say about these two. Sharing these on Instagram and opening up a little discussion was wonderful! Talking with others about artwork is a unique opportunity to explore different perspectives, ones you might not have considered or realized their significance. It’s also an opportunity to share a common understanding.
Up Next
I’ve been sitting on this stock image for a long time, knowing it was not really what I wanted. Using something I know didn’t feel right might cheapen the experience for me, I thought. It really does matter to me to use my own images.
But creating anyway, even when the materials I have available aren’t quite ideal, is worth it.
As someone remarked about the two images together, “makes me want to leave the past behind – the dark parts, the parts that we hold onto but need to be let go of so we can find the light.”
So this pillar image and this portrait, maybe, will be placeholders for me. A second draft. Until I am able to photograph something like this myself and build on what I’ve started.
